Thursday, May 7, 2009

Welcome To My Mind!

Well, I am new to simply blogging. I liked having my website, however it has been hard to keep it updated with four kids and a part-time job(no such thing in the ministry). This blog will have deep thoughts from the dark places in my head, light and silly things that I need to share, and my ramblings. I am glad to have you here.

Also, with googlepages changing things up, I am unsure what my stuff will look like and so I am here for the time being. I will be posting up some of my old rantings from the google site simply to have them for my own records. Don't feel you have to re-read them and don't get worried that you are getting old and having memory issues. I just need to move my important things over here.

Well, that is all for the formalities. Now for the deep thinkin'

Today I was driving down the road listening to Landon's song and thinking. I find I do my best thinking when I listen to it. I was getting ideas for the KidzRetreat I am doing at church when my mind drifted(I know - rare). I got to thinking about the fact that Landon and Abby had such deep walks with Christ and yet they were so young. I yearn for that. I want to dive in that deep, to not be worried about the outcome, to just go all in. I want to ooze Jesus. A lady once told me that I did but I am not sure she knew what she was talking about. However, when I think back, I believe that lady was Dorothy Selden. I think she visited our church once and I just brushed it off b/c she was "just an old lady." Foolishness of youth. Anyway, I want to go all the way! I want to press harder than ever before. I am tired of 'going through the motions'. I want to have what those kids had. I want it all. I want to lay down the pressures and lusts of this world and forge a new path to Christ. I want to run to Him with open arms and when I get winded, I will walk. When my feet give out I will crawl on my hands and knees. Once my knees are gone, I will crawl on my belly and when I die, I will die with on hand pointing the way towards Him for those who come behind. This is my new charge, my new calling. Well, actually, it has always been the calling, but I am just now obeying. Praise God, for the patience He has as He knocks on my heart's door each day with new opportunties, while I go about my day, too busy to turn the knob and open the door. I am ashamed to say that there are time when I have heard Him knocking, and even looked through the peephole, only to realize it was Him and then duck down and quietly sulk away, avoind the urgency of His calling. No more, I say. I pray for the courage to do it. I pray for the encourgment I need to do it. I pray. I pray. I pray.

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