Well, we are settling in here. Jacob is feeding about every four hours...well for the last eight hours anyway. I am hoping this trend continues as I need more time inbetween and he needs to grow. His hair continues to grow more red each day. YIKES!!! And I can tell he is going to be tough...he has to be. Everytime he turns around there is another kid in his face yelling and asking him to play.
I have been enjoying my time off of work. I know I put in a lot of time to a part time job(like I have said before, there is no such thing as part time ministry) but I never realized how much time I was taking away from my kids. I did zero camps this summer but I spent everyday with my kids. I liked it. I have been calm on Sundays and Wednesdays because they aren't "work days" right now. However, I can't wait to get back to work...clarify - I can wait, but I will be happy to get back to work and take some responsibility from Layne.
I have been thinking alot about last words today. I watched a show last night that dealt with a father's last words to his son. It hit me, I am one of just a handful of my friends who can even contemplate what that means. Most of my friends have both parents, all their aunts and uncles and even all four grandparents still living. When I graduated from high school I had one parent and one grandparent. I still have all five uncles and six aunts. It blows my mind when someone my age looses a grandparent and they act as if the world is over. I understand the loss is difficult. But I see things with different eyes. I see that we are blessed to have them here for just a little while...this goes for anyone in our lives. I see that the longer we have loved ones around, the more blessed we seem to be. But at some point the idea must cross your mind that they won't live forever. They will die one day, and we can't let that fact or that event ruin our lives. Our purpose here is not to sit around and love each other. It is to create more disciples. I know, my veiw of things is warped because I have dealt with death a lot, mainly in my younger years. My Sweet Granny died when I was 7. My grandmother when I was 8, my dad when I was 9. Several young people from my school died over the years which taught me that death doesn't just take those who have lived a long life. My grandfather when I was 12-13 and my granny when I was 18. We burried my grandfather on my little cousin's birthday and my granny died the day before I began my first job. That taught me that death is truly inconvinent, it is never part of our plans.
Last words are important. The last conversation I had with my dad is in my head. The exact words have disappeared over the years but I know what we said. I told him about my signed papers and that he owed me money. He told me he would pay when he got out of the hospital. I told him how much I loved him and wanted him home. He told me he loved me and that he missed me. Two days later he was gone forever.
My last words to all my grandparents were love-filled. In fact, I called my grandmother back one night the weekend before she died just to tell her I loved her and talk. I had never done that before. I know God was in charge.
So, when your spouse, child, parent, friend leaves you next time, what will your potential last words be? Will they be filled with contempt, hate, sarcasm? Will they be poking fun or condenscending? Or will they be filled with love from you and from the Father? Will you take that step of faith to make sure they know the Lord? Will you make sure they know your stance with God? Your love for them?