So I am sure that many will ask how it went today during our first day of Home school this year. (I have been working with Lilly for three years now and Ella Cate for 2.5) My answer will be that it went perfect and without a hitch. However, only those of you who dare to delve into the deep recesses of my mind will be privy to the truth. The truth is that it went better than expected but not as well as I had hoped.
Ella Cate did wonderful. She grasps new concepts so easily and she finished her work promptly. She anxiously awaits the next assignment and a hug from mommy for her accomplishments. Today when school was over I gave her extra hugs while Lilly was brushing her teeth so that she would know I appreciate the hard work she does.
Now, Daniel did interrupt a few times but you all would be astonished to know that he babysat Rachel in the living room.....alone!! He would come and let me know if she was stinky or wet. He would come and let me know if she was pulling him or pinching him or being bad in some other way. He brought her toys and got out Lilly's guitar and played a song for her and even serenaded her. How precious!! He came in a few times to irritate the girls which got no good attention from mommy so he left. He even came a few times to sit and see what they were doing and participate. He worked so hard that he was asleep within minutes of me laying him down.
As for Lilly, we still have so far to go. I look at her through my 'mommy' eyes and see the potential but no effort. She completed almost everything, but it took twice as long. She cried off and on but nothing too bad until the end. She got upset about a few things and eventually kept murmuring over and over that she is bad. I never told her that. I told her she was being disrespectful. She only heard bad. I get frustrated with her. At the end, she had to draw a family tree and just fell off the school wagon. She cried and yelled until her voice was gone and her face was swollen and splotchy. I went over and held her crayon box and she finished within three minutes. All I did was hold the box. I didn't really say anything. I didn't force anything, I just held the box. I noticed during reading that she doesn't listen to the first letters or syllables in words. The letter was 'a' and she kept saying that the short /a/ sound and the beginning of the word 'pencil' sounded the same. Was she joking? She never would change her story. She just laughed. So the 'mommy' eyes close and the 'teacher' eyes open. I wonder, is there a deep rooted problem that I don't know about? Does she maybe have some sort of learning problem that will prohibit her from learning? My 'teacher' eyes are well-trained, they do not compare the two girls, they see the students as individuals. Ella Cate is accelerating. Lilly is being left behind. Why? What is the issue with Lilly? Math was easier for her, as always. What do I do?
'Mommy' mode sets back in.....I think back to those stupid tests we had to take in college which registered me with Dyslexia and recommended I be tested...HA HA - I have always been an A student. Yes, I have to study hard and yes, I have to check and re-check and find things slightly wrong and number backwards but that is just me. I can't help but feel that our society has made it all to easy for a person to be labeled. Do I want to label her? I refused being tested further. I don't want to do her a dis-service if she has problems but I certainly do not want to incorrectly label her with a test that isn't truly valuable.
'Teacher' mode again.....Calm down - it is only day one. Don't stress out. She will be fine.
In conclusion - she will be fine. I know it. We will continue to plunge forward and see what awaits us. I know that I had several people praying for me today and it worked. I had unimaginable patience today. Please continue to lift us up. I need it so much.
Thank you to all who are praying for us on this crazy road. SC
(pictures will be added later after our celebration dinner tonight)